Bridal Gifts

Are wedding registry gifts for the bridal shower or for the actual wedding?
My fiance & I have heard from some people that registry gifts are for the wedding & the bridal gifts are more for her, but we also have heard that the registry gifts are for the shower, but then what about the wedding?

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When is bridal gift registry become unethical?


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Do you think this is wrong of my bridesmaid?
Here's the short version of the story. First of all I want to say that I am in no way high maitnanace and I do not expect great things from people but I think my bridesmaid is being wrong, selfish & cheap. She refused to buy her dress for the wedding so I spent the $130 on it. Now that the wedding is around the corner she knew that she would have to pay to get her hair done. It's $25.00 and she refuses to pay for that too. My matron of Honor is taking me to the spa the day before the weddng and being that they live in 2 diff states I had to ask my bridesmaid if she could contribute a little bit to my bridal gift since it's going to be from the wedding party. She said no! She can't even contribute $10 to it. I couldn't beleive it. Then she has the nerve to ask me if I can ask my Matron if she can help her do her hair the morning of the wedding and if she can do her makeup for her too. My matron was like NO, if she can't chip in anything or buy anything herself why is she trying to get everything for free and be so cheap. Her & her husband have money, and lots of it so that's what makes it even worse. Next issue is that I told her that my fiance and I really needed to get $ from people at the wedding bec we have enough junk and we don't need anymore. Then later that day in another email she tells me that they already bought our wedding gift. I asked her why she would do that when I told her we really need the $. She said bec they wanted to. Ok, whatever but then she said it was something off the registry from when I had my shower. Then it hit me that, I know what she got. There has been 1 thing bought in there since my shower that no one ever gave to us. A $15.00 clock! I asked her if that's what it was and said pretty much said yes w/out actually saying it. What kind of a wedding gift is a $15.00 clock? I just don't get it. I'm from up north and that is just not the type of thing you get someone for there wedding. Is it just me or what? I need some opinions please. Thanks! Oh, I should add in that the reason she didn't want to pay for the dress is bec her husband is the best man and she said she didn't want to have to pay for her dress and the tux. She told me she wasn't going to be in the wedding if she had to pay for her dress...and I needed her, so that's why i paid for it. The registry was ONLY for the bridal shower not for the wedding. And we are the ones on a budgeted wedding and she knew ahead of time that she would ahve to pay for her hair to get done. She likes to change her mind a lot. The makeup was optional bec she doesn't wear any, anyway. As far as the $ no, they have it and they spend it all day every day on everything. Everyday that I talk to her she'll tell me about all these new things that they bought. Money is no object to them. One more thing... We have been friends for 7 years but out of those 7 years we stopped being friends for 2 of them. She used to be very mean to me and make me feel stupid and like crap so we had stopped talking for a while and then we ran into each other and she told me she changed and she was sorry for always being mean to me. I thought things were good w/ her now but I'm seeing the old side to her again and she's stressing me out. Not like I don't have stuff to stress over enough already. I also think that she may be jelous bc she did not actually have wedding. She just had someone marry them and had her mom & brother there. As far as the gift...people are not reading what I am saying. The registry cards were for the bridal shower and there are NO registry cards in the wedding invitataions. Even if people do get us something off of the registry I was just saying don't you think they could have picked out something a bit better than a cheap clock? There are lots of better things on there that could be for a wedding gift. Avis B.... You are right, those questions are important and my fiance and I thought a lot about who we wanted in our wedding and her husband is not the issue. He is all those things you listed. We thought that she changed and that she would be all of those things (especially since her husband is in it too) but I guess we were wrong. Oh... w/ the responce to the person who said something about how much the dress is... the price was $130 but then $20 off from David's so actually it was $110. Lord! Let me refrase AGAIN... The bridesmaid compleatly knew 100% everything that was involved when I asked her. As a matter of fact I was thinking of asking her to be a Reader at the wedding but I know her and I knew that she would feel bad that she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid so I asked her to do that. I NEED her bec she's my best friend and I want her there for me on my wedding day. As far as the spa goes...it is NOT a gift from my MOH. Get that clear. It is a gift from the whole bridal party!!!! That's why everyone is contribiting to it except for the bridesmaid. The HOM lives almost 1000 miles away and can not just simply ask people she's never met before to contribute that's why I asked everyone. Everyone else has no problem understanding that they are contributing to it bec it's from all of the bridal party. And the ONLY 2 people that knew we needed $ as gifts for the wedding are my bridesmaid & MOH. The only reason they know are because they are my best friends. They know everything. I'm not that rude, shallow, stupid...whatever else you guys called me to ask people to give us money.

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